I wrote this nearly two months ago. Before it could be posted, I was plunged into darkness. Paralyzed with the happenings of this world, I have been unable to focus on anything else and my words dried up. A couple of days ago the darkness lifted allowing me to see a little clearer again.
I had a bad day on Tuesday. Working from home is hard. The work that I am doing is hard. Life is upside down. The future is uncertain. The country is divided. What is true and what is false? Relationships are strained or broken. With emotions on high alert, fear, anxiety, anger, and guilt are perpetually locked and loaded. Like most of us, I need a vacation but that isn’t going to happen right now. The list could go on.
When I get in a funk, I tend to do what is not good for me. After work all I wanted to do was eat junk food and watch trash TV. Although I did eat a big pile of nachos for dinner (sue me), I forced myself to take a walk around the block. The song I reference below came up on my playlist. Lifting my face to the sun and closing my eyes, I remembered that God made it partly to give me comfort in moments like this. He is there even when we are in darkness.The constantness of His presence is our tether to the light. I opened this post and re-read it Wednesday morning; the truth of it, once again, able to reach me. I hope it is able to reach you too.
The power of words, strung together and carefully chosen can bring vivid pictures to mind, inspire, motivate, anger, or even fill with peace.
While working the other day, passively listening to music, my ears snagged on a line in a song that resonated deep in my soul.
“The universe was made just to be seen by my eyes.” Saturn by Sleeping at Last
Something about the personal and intimate nature of those words caught in my chest and brought tears to my eyes. It was as if the Holy Spirit was whispering to my soul, “This is how much I love you.” Looking up from my computer and out the window into this beautiful world, I knew it was true. He created all of it for me…and for you (Psalm 8).
Like an old fashioned slide projector, memories of some of the beautiful places I had seen in my life clicked into focus: the varied green of the trees in Washington State at sunset, Haystack rock in Cannon Beach, a butterfly grove in California, fragrant plumeria in Hawaii. Then I thought of the places I dream of seeing one day: lavender fields in Provence, the azure water of the Mediterranean Sea, and the snowy peaks of the French Alps.
Simultaneously individual and collective, this is truth; the state of this world is not what He intended and it breaks His heart. This earth, this universe, was created for us to see Him and move closer. His intention for this world has been smudged by the dirty fingerprints of humanity; the ugliness in stark contrast to the beauty. Like squinting in the sun, the polarity is blinding.
Humanity has been on a collision course with self-destruction since the Garden of Eden and God knew it even then. He knew it and created us anyway because He loves us. Giving us free will and setting us in a beautiful garden knowing we would choose our own way.
Each of our lives is a love story with God. He whispers over each individual timeline repeating, “I love you. This isn’t my best for you. Come back to me and I will give you rest.” Just outside the peripheral vision of our lives He is there. Hoping we will catch a glimpse and turn towards Him choosing to trust Him. It’s a love story between you and Him. Take it personally because it is. He loves you so much that He wants you with Him forever. That’s why he sent Jesus; to rescue humanity from itself (Ephesians 2:4-9).
You have heard the saying, “seeing is believing.” With faith, the opposite is true; believing allows you to see God in your life not the other way around. Faith begins small when you catch the glimpse of God then grows over time; as you believe more you see more.
In the middle of my normal, boring work day, God sent me a love note reminding me of this timeless truth; He still loves me and He still loves humanity. It has not changed. Despite the ugliness, His love beckons us to look up, look out to the stars, to the universe, to the world; it calls each of us back to the One who sees, to the One who can heal, to the One who can bring justice, and to the One who can give us hope (Psalm 19:1-6).